Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh ooh

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes.

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh, whoa

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, oh, oh, oh.

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

..Pada akhirnya aku mencapai kesadaran bahwa kehilanganmu adalah pilihan, bukan semata takdir yang tidak bisa kuelakkan. 

Rencana

Satu dua langkah panjang telah dilampaui. Tidak sekaligus, tapi bisa dianggap lulus. Tidak harus selalu bersama, langkah kita tetap menemukan jalannya.

Tiga ratus enam puluh lima hari yang bahagia, kata mereka. Tiga ratus enam puluh lima hari yang  kulewatkan dengan membiasakan diri. Menerimakan bahwa nyatanya kau tak lagi hadir. Segala upaya kupertaruhkan untuk menghadirkanmu kembali. Kususun lagi puing-puing bahagiaku, dengan harapan kau mau membaginya denganku.

Aku mencoba dan tak henti mencoba. Menyesuaikan apa yang telah terencana. Memastikan segalanya tepat pada porsinya. Bersepakat dengan keyakinan yang tak kunjung menemukan pegangannya.

Esok hari, hitung aku dalam rencanamu. Hitung aku jadi bagian yang kau mau. Bagian yang mungkin tak punya banyak tempat pada prioritasmu, tapi untukku, itulah nyawaku. Satu-satunya harap untuk tetap menghidupkan duniaku.




now listening Rivers and Roads by The Head and The Heart
~And i guess it's just as well,
but i miss your face like hell~